


Cheese Sticks

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-25
Updated: 2006-03-25
Packaged: 2018-08-16 07:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8093986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: What if? (10/04/2003)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Beta: Thanks to Cat who worked her magic on this ff.  


* * *

Will HE ever stop throwing that ball on the wall? The bouncing makes me sick every time. Especially on an empty stomach.

I hate parties.

Not just Christmas or Thanksgiving parties, but all parties. Birthday parties are the worst. HE never takes me with HIM to any parties. I never have the chance to get a bite of cake or turkey....

Even afterwards. Stupid diet!

I can only assume that HE thinks my presence would be inappropriate.

That is a shame.

I've known HIM my entire life. Even before I could walk. HE knows I can be a perfect gentleman...

HE will never take me with HIM.

Fortunately, there are some people smart enough on Enterprise to understand that once in a while I could attend special events and act accordingly. They would even take me in HIS place. I must confess it's not quite the same. I mean, I like it but without HIM...it is not as thrilling as it would if HE were with me.

I'm not the possessive type though. You could say I'm exactly the opposite. I like the people HE likes and hates the ones HE dislikes.

No, I'm more of the exclusive type.

We would lay down our lives for each other and I would gladly defend HIS significant other from the villains.

The problem is that HE has none.

At the moment I mean.

HE was devastated when HE broke up with Abigail. After a while, HE began to heal and threw HIMself into the space program. Everyday of the week round the clock. Abigail took care of me some times. She knew my mum, you know.

I understand that living on a ship like Enterprise when you're the captain can prove to be difficult in terms of intimacy with a female. I've had time to think it over...

Hoshi would be in my top three, even if I imagine that she's more of a foster child to HIM. She's nice and quiet and seems to know exactly what I think or want, but that lemon and cinnamon cologne she uses? Well, I find it a bit offensive. I can see that Commander Tucker doesn't seem to mind the smell, but, you know...men!

Betsy's cute and smells of vanilla. Ensign Cutler that is. She lets me call her Betsy. She hates it when Ensign Novacovich does but she never complains when I do. I tried to go with Betty and Lizzy, but Betsy is my favorite. Betsy can talk to me for hours about anything and is always smiling.

I'm not that fond of those insects she keeps in her lab, especially the giant K'tallosian spiders; a three foot eight legged nightmare. Fortunately, she doesn't take me over there that much. I seem to disturb the poor things. And still I was a perfect gentleman...

My first choice is the alien female though. I mean, not only is SHE beautiful, but SHE's smart, SHE smells good and HE likes HER...well, loves HER. I know when HE fancies someone. We're sworn pals you know.

And this one? HE surely cares for HER.

HE arranged several _casual_ meetings just to choose a present for Travis...HE's been hanging around HER too long.

HE could erase a planet on a whim -I know HE will never do that though- and still coins puzzling strategy to seduce a woman who already loves HIM back?  
Nonsense and waste of time.

I say: go for it!

When HE left to go to the birthday party, I could have bet that something was going to turn awkward.

Too bad no one cared to ask me.

SHE dropped by right after HE left and fed me those Vulcan cheese sticks which are not really cheese sticks and just taste like cheese.

SHE gave me that weird *you'reJon'spetandIrespecthisdecisiontohaveyouonboard" look and petted me for a while. SHE cast a last glance at me before the door hissed shut behind HER.

"Behave yourself Porthos," SHE said.

SHE should have known better.

Now HE is sulking on HIS bed.

I have no idea what SHE did to HIM.

HE won't even pet me or talk to me or throw me a ball or even take me to HIS ready room or to the gym or on the bridge for the late night shift.

HE's angry and...

"You know what Porthos?"

I wagged my tail against the cushion and raised my head to HIM.

At last!!

"Vulcan women are just like women from Earth," HE trailed.

OK. What's new? Cut the chase man!

"I don't understand them...at all, and never will. Commanding this ship is a piece of cake compared to understanding HER."

Now you're talking Einstein.

I put back my head on my paws and locked my eyes to HIS.

Just in case.

Maybe if I listen long enough HE will get me some cheddar....

"You know pal, I must have done something wrong," HE said, standing up from HIS bed and kneeling beside me.

I put the tail on full speed mode and my nose on HIS hand. All I could smell was soap.

No cheese. I refrained from sighing and put a paw on HIS hand.

"SHE left the party right after I played the piano for the crew."

Oh...HE played the piano...Wow! HE' really fallen for this one!

"What has happened is my fault Porthos. Do you think I should go to HER quarters to apologize?"

I wagged my tail with a renewed frenzy.

"Well, I guess you're right, pal."

Am I?

"Want some cheese before I go?"

**YES!!!**

I sat up and begged to make HIM take the box and the cheese out of the box and the cheese...

**AAAAAAAAAHHHH**

"Sorry buddy, that's all. I'll see you later, Porthos."

Fair enough.

I wonder what happened to HER.

Maybe Betsy will tell me when she takes me out for the morning walk.

Ah...cheddar...


End file.
